Trust

I turn my attention to the young people who are carving their paths through life, armed with a great deal of self-confidence — confidence drawn from their upbringing, from what their families planted within them, from the successes, relationships, and friendships they have achieved along their academic journeys, and from the trust of parents and siblings, and that charge they receive from their surroundings, which nurtures this confidence and lifts their spirits. Yet I am, more often than not, seized by fear of those hidden shocks lurking here and there, behind situations and faces and masks and the impulsiveness of youth.

The truth is that were it not for those shocks we ourselves once faced — were it not for those blows and losses and small defeats — we would not have become who we are. Confidence, in particular, cannot be taught to anyone; it is the product of situations, shocks, and relationships.

Confidence begins with the self and ends with others. It is not the belief that one never makes mistakes, but rather the knowledge that no matter how many mistakes one makes, one is capable of learning and rising again. It is that deep calm which means you do not derive your worth from the applause of others, and you do not allow their rejection to diminish your humanity. Those who trust themselves do not live in a perpetual battle to prove their worth, because they have already found it.

From this sense of inner peace, trust in others is born. Those who fear themselves also fear other people — they doubt others' intentions, see threat in others' success, and perceive danger in others' differences. But those who have made peace with themselves grant others the space to be who they are, and believe that the world is not a conspiracy against them, but rather a place where relationships can be built on respect, tolerance, and hope.

I was struck by a woman who appears regularly on TikTok to share with her followers the essence of her experiences living as an immigrant. I was particularly struck when she said to one of her followers: "Whether I agree with you or not, whether I don't like your content, or whether you constantly direct criticism at me — despite all of that, if I meet you anywhere, I will treat you with the utmost courtesy, because that is the character I was raised with and trained myself to uphold. And if you choose to ignore me, that is your character. You will not be able to make me angry with your behaviour, nor diminish my standing, nor shake my confidence in myself."

The issue is not whether we should always trust or always doubt, but in knowing when to open the door and when to keep our hands on the handle. Trust does not mean abandoning caution, just as caution does not mean abandoning love. It is the art of balancing a heart that believes in goodness with a mind that never surrenders its clarity of sight.